Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(789): View more from

If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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(858): View more from California

Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

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(847): View more from Illinois

On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.

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(540): View more from Virginia

he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.

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(734): View more from Michigan

We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you

(751): View more from

Well I hope so...

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