How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
