I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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