I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
