we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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