I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
