No stitches, just platelets and will power
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
