captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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