im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
