i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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