Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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