the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
