I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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