Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
