just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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