where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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