Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
