wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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