Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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