first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
