dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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