Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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