Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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