I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
