We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
