oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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