"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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