Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it was like having sex with a tree stump
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
True college students do jello shots in the library
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