Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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