Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
