dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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