Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
