I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
