I want to make a zoo with you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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