found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
