Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
