Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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