I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
