yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
