You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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