you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
