we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize