he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
