I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
