if i can run in heels then i can drive
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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