so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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