If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
