I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Then you guys just all showered together...?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
