Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
