I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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