Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
