woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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