The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
