Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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