My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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