Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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