i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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